Co Parenting in Divorce Cases

Co-parenting in divorce cases continues after the divorce agreement has been signed and approved by the Court.

Parenting doesn't end on divorce.

Co-parenting means that even though a couple's marriage has legally ended, they can still remain involved in their children's lives.

When parents are able to work through their issues and behave toward each other in a cordial manner, their children can only benefit. Here are some good reasons for parents to try to present a united front as far as their children are concerned:

• They are better able to adapt to the change in their family.
• There is less chance of the children experiencing long-term negative effects following the divorce.
• The children tend to feel more secure.
• They are more likely to follow their parents' example when it comes to solving problems in their own lives.
• Children learn how to be co-operative and how to show compassion toward other people.

If you and your former spouse are able to adopt a system of co-parenting, you need to make sure that your children understand this is not a sign that the two of you will be getting back together. In a situation where you and your former spouse were having a lot of conflict in the past, this new way of communicating may be confusing for the children. They may be distrustful of your motivation now that the two of you are getting along better.

Keep these suggestions in mind to make co-parenting in divorce cases work out well for you and your former husband or wife:

• Don't criticize the other parent to, or in front of, your children.
• Work out a way that you can discuss matters involving the children when they are not present.
• Deal with the other parent directly; don't have your children taking messages back and forth between the two of you.

There are some situations where co-parenting simply won't work. Here are some examples:

• There is a history of abuse between the spouses.
• A parent was abusing one or more of the children.
• The other parent will not co-operate with the co-parenting plan.
• One or both parents are abusing drugs or alcohol.
• One or both parents are dealing with a severe mental illness.
• A parent moves away and is unable to participate in co-parenting.

Sometimes parents are not able to get past their own issues and co-parent their children in an amicable fashion. Simply because they may not be ready to immediately jump into co-parenting as their marriage is ending, doesn't mean that they can't adopt this way of interacting with each other later on.

In some cases, some time and counseling may help the parents come to terms with the end of their marriage. They may be able to work out a co-parenting plan with the help of a mediator or a couples therapist.

The end of a marriage is stressful enough without the parents being continually in conflict with each other over issues involving the children. No matter how often parents tell their children that the divorce is not their fault, they tend to blame themselves when their parents' marriage breaks down.

The idea of co-parenting in divorce cases is one that is worth considering, and implementing whenever possible. Simply because the marriage has broken down, it doesn't mean that parents stop having responsibilities toward their children. If the parents can keep this fact in mind, then they will find it easier to change from being a couple who are parents to co-parents who still love and care for their children, even though they are no longer a couple.

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