Restore Marriage After Divorce
From LoveToKnow Divorce
Restoring your marriage after divorce with your former spouse is not uncommon. The odds may be against you for having a successful marriage the second time around but there are things you both can do to help make it work.
The Statistics of Restoring Your Marriage after Divorce
Did you know that 75 percent of people remarry within four years of their divorce? However, these remarriages do not have the success rate as first time ones. Psychology Today reports that 60% of marriages after a divorce fail. They also found that second ones would fail in a shorter amount of time than the first time, an average of 10 years.
Remarrying Your Former Spouse
Since the divorce rate is as high as it is, many people restore marriage after divorce. It is not as unusual as you may think, celebrities remarry their ex-spouses often. There are many reasons why people divorce their spouse and then later decide to remarry.
- Distance makes the heart grow fonder
Sometimes couples do not realize exactly what they mean to each other until they have divorced. Even in separation, the couple may not feel disconnected enough from each other.
- Time to reflect
It can be much easier to reflect on the relationship when you take time away from it. After some time, your negative emotions will not be as strong as they were while in the marriage and you will begin to see your part in the failing of the marriage. Acknowledging what you could have done better is the first step in reconciliation and working on the relationship.
- Grass is always greener
Some people think the grass is always greener on the other side. They believe single life or being with someone else would be better. After experiencing the single life and other relationships, the person may start to conclude there was really no one else who was as great as the former spouse was.
- Personality changes and a renewed love is formed
Everyone changes as they grow older but couples do not always grow apart, sometimes they can grow closer. A marriage may end because the people have changed but they may also change again later in life and find that love in each other again.
What to Expect When Remarrying Your Spouse
When you remarry your ex-spouse, you will need to prepare yourself for some of the difficulties you will go through in the marriage. Here are some things for you to keep in mind so you can work towards making your relationship last.
- Seek counseling
You don't want to start your relationship with the same issues as you had before. Even if you feel these issues do not bother you, they still need addressing. You also want to keep communication open between you and your mate and counseling is a great way to do this.
- Remember you are marrying the same person
Even though the person may have changed over the years, there will still be certain annoyances he or she may not have lost. You will have to learn to deal with them or discuss them with your mate to see if he or she can change them.
- Not everyone always gets along
It's easy to end a relationship if you start not getting along with your spouse. It takes work and there are no days off. Of course, some days are easier than others are but you will consistently work on making your relationship work instead of giving up.
- Prenuptial agreement
Many people who remarry their spouse will decide to get a prenuptial agreement to protect themselves. This may be a sensitive issue for both parties, but many people feel better about their commitment when they know their assets will be protected if the marriage ends once again.
Stay Positive
When you marry your former spouse, you may hear a lot of ridicule from family members and friends. The most important thing to keep in mind is to stay positive. If you start to listen to what they say, you will begin to believe in it yourself and your marriage may suffer because of it. Thank your loved ones for their concerns, assure them you both plan to work hard on your relationship this time around, and would appreciate the support. After time, your loved ones will accept this and be there for you as they always have in the past..
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Comments
Keith,
You could approach her and tell her what you have expressed here. It may help if you offer to go for counseling with your former wife to see if there is a chance of reconciliation.
Jodee Redmond LoveToKnow Editor
-- Contributed by: JCRedmondMy marriage ended way to soon,I have never loved anyon as much as I love my ex wife.To this day I still her more than words could ever express.She will soon be moving out of state with our children how in the world can I make her see thing aren't always better on the other side of the fence.
-- Contributed by: keith
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