LoveToKnow Divorce:AllComments

From LoveToKnow Divorce

Comments

Tina,

The decision to end a marriage is a major one and you have a lot of things to consider. One of them is the fact that you have two children who will be deeply affected by the decision. The fact that your husband is willing work on your marriage is a positive one, but I do understand that the new man in your life is offering you something different and that it is tempting.

I would suggest that you see a counselor who can help you to make the right decision for. If it turns out that ending your marriage is what you are going to do, the counselor can help guide you through the process of telling your husband and children.

Jodee Redmond LoveToKnow Editor

-- Contributed by: JCRedmond

I have been married for 5 years and got married young. My husband has never been there for me emotionaly and has done some mean stuff in the past. We have 2 kids together and I have fallen in love with another guy. I love this guy so much becuase he is the oppisite of my husband. Now that my husband knows I want a divorce he is willing to change. I feel like I owe him a second chance and I feel noting but guilt because he is so torn up about it. I dont know what to do. I feel like if I saty in the marriage, its because I dont want to make him mad or hurt him and I dont want him to feel like Im taking his kids away. But in reality, I just want to be with this other guy and move on. Im so stuck, I dont know what to do. If I stay and try to work things out, all I think about is this new guy in my liofe and how I could be with him instead. DO I stay and make my husband happy and everyone else happy or do I suck it up and face the fact I will be hurting alot of people?

-- Contributed by: tina

Cara,

It sounds like you have a lot going on. Looking after one baby is exhausting and you have twins to take care of and a husband who you don't trust. What you need to do first of all is look after your own safety and the safety of your children. You can call your local women's shelter or abuse hotline for assistance. The next thing you need to do is to consult with an attorney instead of listening to your husband. He has a legal responsibility to financially support his children and he doesn't have the right to just "sign off"on them. If you aren't able to support yourself, he may be ordered to pay alimony. If you think you are going to have a problem with custody, start do...enting his actions with dates, time, details so that you can share this information with your attorney. It may help a judge determine what is in your children's best interests.

Jodee Redmond LoveToKnow Editor

-- Contributed by: JCRedmond

I have been married to a man for only a year and a half. Five months after we got married I got pregnant with twins. 2 months after they were born I found out my husband has been sleeping with a lady who is 21 years older than him and he mows her lawn! He smokes marijuana and drinks all the time! I do not trust him with my babies! He is selfish and impatient and does not help with them. He has physically abused me in the past. He has now turned his whole family against me and lies to them to make himself look like a victim (He told me that!) He continues to pick a fight with me so that he can leave and not come home all night. He turns his phone off so I cant get a hold of him. Then turns it around the next day on me to make me feel like its my fault he goes out on me! I am so tired and hurt and ANGRY! But i cant find the strength to get myself to actually file for divorce! And I definitely dont want him to try to take my kids from me just out of spite! Even though he has told me that he would sign off on them so he wont have to deal with me and pay child support! WHat do I do?!?!?!

-- Contributed by: cara

Rose,

It sounds like you have been through a lot and that you have tried all you can to work things out. That doesn't mean that the end of your marriage isn't painful, though.

Jodee Redmond, LoveToKnow Editor

-- Contributed by: JCRedmond

i definately agree with 5, 6, and 7. we have been married for 16 years. we have tried everything and now with affairs, finances, parents being ill and i've given up my career for his...there is no ending to the contstant nastiness that lies between us. we also love each other, but i can no longer live with him.

-- Contributed by: rose bulele
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