LoveToKnow Divorce:AllComments

From LoveToKnow Divorce

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Kubais,

You can legally end your marriage by filing for divorce. An attorney can give you the advice you need. As far as your religious faith is concerned, I would suggest that you see your spiritual adviser to ensure that you are following the rules properly.

Jodee Redmond LoveToKnow Editor

-- Contributed by: JCRedmond

i would like only to ask since i have found out for 6th times that my muslim husband had an affair with so many married woman and didnt even marrying them. I have a proof seeing their text messages and they did their sexual intercourse in my home while i am away from my office. I would like to divorce him and i dont wanna see them anymore. I pray to ALLAH to give me peace. My health will be affected cos of the lies he is telling me. He's a liar muslim. which I think is not permitted by ALLAH. please do help me what to do. I and my son just left him alone in our home. I cant take anymore what hes doing with me

-- Contributed by: kubais

Is Divorce Right,

The decision to end your marriage is one that you will need to make yourself, but you can get a divorce on the basis that the marriage has broken down and the two of you have separated. I would suggest that you speak to an attorney who can give you advice for your situation.

Jodee Redmond LoveToKnow Editor

-- Contributed by: JCRedmond

i would like to know if i have a good enough reasons to get a divorce? i am 21yrs old and been married for 4yrs. when our marriage was being arranged my cousin/ housband to be promised me many things, such as he would keep me happy and life would be easy for me. he also said he would die if he didnt marry me. i know now that he was using me to get british citenzenship. There is no love or peace betwween us. which seems to be fine be ok for him as his using me. we have a son and iam worried about him and dont wont to ruined his life buy at the same time i cant live like this. alone and stuck with someone how treats me so rudly and even hits me. he has no respect for me and lies to me. he has cheated on me twice which he talled me himself and now says many differant things about it such he was young or he was choking. but he know the truth. i ve talled both me parents but they couldnt help as his back to his old ways. know that my dad has passes away iam afraid he will get woser and no one will hepl. my mum is his unty and when ever i tell her she turns a blind eye as she dosent want our eelationship to brake because she wants us to suppoert her brother in bangladesh. iam stuck i feel that i cant do anything about our relationship as he never wants to accept that we have problems and never takes me seriosly when i talk to him about this. i think iam sinning satying with him as i always argue andswear at him, he brings out the worst in me. i fear allah and i dont want to displease him , should i forget about my happines for the sake of god and my son and watch caos us my housband has all the freedom he wants to ruin our lives. pleas help thanks

-- Contributed by: is divorce right in this case

Jamie,

If you don't want to be the reason why someone ends their marriage, you can tell your friend to make whatever decision he thinks is best and then to contact you after the divorce has been finalized. This will allow the dust to settle and give both of you time to figure out whether you want to have a romantic relationship.

Jodee Redmond LoveToKnow Editor

-- Contributed by: JCRedmond

This is in response to Karin,i also find my self in a similar situation but i am male,when you say you have love somewhere in your heart then please look for it,30 years is a lot of years to trow away,i could divorce now but then my kids will be dragged through the courts for years to come,i am sure your children would not want that,maybe council for both partners will help,i wish you find happiness in your husbands home.

-- Contributed by: khalid

A friend of mine who i have known for about one year, recently told me that he has started to think about getting a divorce due to being very unhappy for a long time, and has also developed feelings for me as more than a friend. However, I do not believe in someone cheating on their partner. I do care for him but a relationship between us is not something I ever thought of. He also mentioned that he could get a divorce easily and quickly if he decides to. I am a non-Muslim and he is Muslim. I know almost nothing about his religion. I have no idea if I would get into a relationship if he did get divorced, but I would like to know what anyway the truth is about the divorce process. I feel he is using that tactic in the hopes of my being with him in some way now. ??

-- Contributed by: jamie

Karin,

Your religious faith and the legal system are too different things. Under the law, if your marriage has broken down, then you can file for divorce. After you and your husband have been separated for a certain period of time, the Court will grant you a divorce. Your husband does not have to consent to the divorce for it to be granted. As you can see, there are steps you can go through to divorce within the teachings of your religious faith. Whether you decide to take those steps and go through mediation is up to you. You may also want to consider speaking with a counselor/therapist who can help you sort out your feelings before you make any decisions about whether to end your marriage.

Jodee Redmond LoveToKnow Editor

-- Contributed by: JCRedmond

I am of asian origin and was brought up in the west (Europe & the US),

my husband and I got married both at the young age of 17 in my country of origin, the first years were very tough and horrific for me, he convinced me that I was a slut for having boyfriends before we met, physically and mentally abused me almost daily.. and the "sessions" would last for hours and end with remorse and guilt on his side, even to the point of him weeping as he begs forgiveness... I was too stupid, too tired and too shocked to not pretend to accept his forgiveness, and then I felt safe for at least a day... until the next "session" starts, anything can trigger his jealousy..

this went on for 3 years, I was too scared to ask for a divorce, the slightest mentions of leaving would trigger his awful roars and reveal his sharp fangs.. and I was afraid of loosing the 2 babies I had conceived, he came from a powerfull family..

during those times, I was convinced that I deserved all his fury, and that I should be thankfull that he accepted me.. in the mean time, to keep myself safe and sane, I would not demand too much, and would not be too open with him..

years went by, except for his now and then jealousy expressions there were no major "sessions" since that third year, and I have forgiven him for the "tortures" (or not?) but definitely I have closed myself from him, and maybe because of my cowardness or because for my children's well being, I stayed with him... after 30 years with him, he has become a habit to be with..

gradually though, after that third year he became a nicer man, there was never even one single abusive word, let alone a physical abuse one... although he stays home all day he was always and still is an excellent provider and gives me his full attention (which I didnt demand)... he has mentioned to me a couple of times that he is obsessed with me, the world is never gray to him, its only either black or white... when he likes/loves somebody its too the extreme, and when he hates somebody its also to the extreme..

I have two adult sons and a daughter now,

and although he is forever sweet, loving, and considerate to myself and our children for the last 20 or so years, I have never opened up to him, about anything.. and I feel that I have been living a lie for 30 years.. he gives too much... but wants too much in return..

its as if all these time I have given him 80% of my attention, time and space.. even my children didnt get enough attention from me... and me?... there was nothing left of me for me.. I feel I am running on minus.. low battery... drained..

I have left him a couple of times before, and always returned to him upon seeing how broken he was without me, he litteraly didnt get out of bed for weeks and months when I left him..

after an argument this morning, I have decided that I have had enough, and I have a plan.. from me he is allowed to court another woman, and as soon as he intends to marry or is in love with this woman, he must divorce me.. thus I will wait until he has someone to be with before I leave..

now I feel sad, because there is love for him in my heart somewhere, and I feel that I shall miss him..

but I can not be myself if I am with him...

I want to die with a smile, and as an honest person if not at least to myself..

I read the points stated for a muslim divorce above, the rights and responsabilities... stupidly I have never read these before, people here had convinced me that a muslim woman do not have rights to ask for a divorce, and if she does, she has no cutody rights for her children and looses all financial support..

now I know better.. thank you..

what I wanted to know is.. does my case have a strong ground for a divorce?

I am saddened but determined.

Thank you,

Karin

~~~~~

-- Contributed by: Karin

Maria,

You may want to consider finding arbitrators to help you and your husband put aside your differences.

Jodee Redmond LoveToKnow Editor

-- Contributed by: JCRedmond

i am seeking advice, my husband lives in egypt and the distance has made us fight and argue now he has told me for the third time that we are divorced but we love eachother and want to be with eachother still is there a solution other than marrying another then marrying again we dont want to do that because we wont want eachother anymore and its cheating god i am a new convert and new to my husbands religion and culture but i dont know what else to do , i need advice , can we be together again is there a solution so that we can stay together i want to be with him and he wants to be with me but if there is no solution he will leave me since he is a devote muslim

i will explain the cir...stances each time he didnt want the divorce i was the nervous one who always screamed for divorce since i was jealous i accused him of using his cell to contact women or that women contacted him on it and he would fight with me about his jealousy too he never wanted divorce but our main fight was about is cell when i came to him last year to marry he got many calls and texts from women telling him to leave me and that they love him and that i would not love him like they do and i demanded that he disconnect that cell he said he would then i dropped the subject but as of todays date he still has the cell and in a fit of jealousy and anger we fought again over it we fougth one last time and spoke of divorce for a third time

we suffered so much and both want to be together ,is there any solution please let us know

maria and saad okba

-- Contributed by: maria
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